I know it's been forever and a day since I've updated this blog. For those of you interested, this particular post will be about my pregnancy and birth experience in Trento, Italy.
Getting the News:
I found out that I was pregnant on July 10th, 2013. I was thrilled but also a bit intimidated to be having a baby in a foreign country that I had only been living in for around 8 months at the time. Before moving to Italy, I had done some googling about childbirth in Italy and I was completely horrified by what I found! There were many reports of hostile midwives, overcrowded facilities and women crying in rooms after their births. Oh yes, and the fact that epidurals were something that had to be "won" in a lottery of sorts (more on that later). However, most of these reports seemed to be coming from expats living in the south of Italy...additionally, I'm sure most people are more likely to write about their bad experiences on the internet than their good experiences. Still, I was a bit scared. As it turned out, I had nothing to fear and had an amazing experience at the Santa Chiara hospital. I'm forever grateful to the midwives who helped deliver our wonderful son.
Early Pregnancy:
First I want to preface this by saying that I felt incredibly blessed to be able to carry our child and I'm not complaining at all. The following is simply an honest account of what I experienced while pregnant. I was so happy being pregnant and never felt that it wasn't worth every day of sickness I experienced.
For the first 6 weeks that I was pregnant, I felt fantastic! I didn't feel sick at all. The only thing that felt different was I was craving salty food like mad: olives, pickles, chips, etc. and was retaining some water. I also became obsessed with Tabasco sauce and put it all over everything.
Starting right at 6 weeks, I began to experience "all-day" sickness. I didn't throw up at this point, but I just felt vaguely nauseated all day long. At 8 weeks pregnant, that's when the fun really began! I began throwing up like clock-work once a day. Promptly after breakfast every morning. Just the smell of certain foods would send me running. All of this is very common in pregnancy and my Italian doctors assured me that the worst of it would be over by 12 weeks of gestation. Little did we know!
At around 12 weeks to the day, I started feeling much better. I figured the worst of the morning sickness must be over. Wrong. I had one day of relief and then my sickness actually became much worse. I started throwing up 3 times a day! Once after every single meal. At this point, I developed a severe aversion to meat and basically became a vegetarian. I also didn't like to leave the house because it became very clear that I could get sick at the slightest provocation. It was incredibly difficult for me to hang out with people because we hadn't announced the pregnancy yet and I could hardly eat or drink anything without becoming violently ill.
15 weeks of gestation was probably the height of my morning sickness. I could hardly keep anything down. I discussed the morning sickness with my ob/gyn (she spoke a moderate amount of English to my beginner's Italian) and she exclaimed "That's not normal!" You don't say? Then she gave me a prescription for some medicine to help me keep food down. After doing research on this medication, I decided not to take it. I felt that it wasn't worth all the possible risks to the fetus and myself and would rather keep getting sick. If I had been living in the US at the time, there would have been a morning sickness medication that had fewer side effects but they didn't have this medicine in Italy.
Instead of resorting to medicine, I tried every trick in the book. Sour candies, pressure point wristbands, sprite, ginger pills....just name any possible remedy and I tried it. Some things helped a little, but I still threw up multiple times a day. One thing that actually helped me feel a bit better was eating California Rolls! Sounds strange but they were very light on my stomach and the ginger served on the side really helped soothe my tummy. On days when I felt really bad, I would console myself with scientific studies that showed that women with morning sickness typically had babies with a few extra IQ points. "See?" I would tell myself, "I'm getting sick in order to grow my baby's smart brain."
At around 20 weeks, someone took pity on me and I started getting ill much less frequently. Eventually, I would only get sick once or twice a week after breakfast. I continued to throw up once a week for the remainder of my pregnancy. I even threw up once during labor. So, in the end, I experienced morning sickness for 7 out of 9 months of pregnancy. Everyone would act super shocked when I told them I still occasionally got sick in late pregnancy. To me, it felt super awesome and great to only get sick once a week! Before that, it had been about 21 times a week, so I felt like it wasn't a big deal. But everyone would feel really sorry for me and talk about what a difficult pregnancy I had, when really I felt great. It's all about perspective.
In fact, the reason this blog hasn't been updated in so long is because of my morning sickness. After it got better, I just lost my momentum to write. Hopefully this post will get things rolling again.
Favorite Thing about being Pregnant:
I loved feeling my baby kick, punch, and hiccup in my belly!
The Healthcare System in Italy:
Being an American, I wasn't quite sure what to expect from socialized healthcare. I was pleasantly surprised at my experience. Disclaimer: I live in a part of Italy that has a lot of money, so I'm not sure if the experience would be quite the same elsewhere. We always had the option to go private or public. I chose to go private for all my prenatal visits and public for the birth. A few reasons I went private for prenatal care: 1. I could choose a provider who spoke English. 2. I would get the same doctor every time (for consistency of care) 3. I wouldn't have to wait as long for my appointments. If I had spoken fluent Italian, I would have been much more likely to go public.
My experiences with healthcare providers in Italy were 99% positive. I only had a few times when someone was rude to me and it was almost always because I didn't understand something they had said in Italian and they became impatient. However, the vast majority of providers I dealt with were extremely courteous and patient with my limited Italian. A funny thing that would often happen is a doctor would say that they didn't speak any English. Later on, when they were more comfortable with me, I would find out that they were almost fluent in English! I think they were just shy in using it.
One way in which doctors offices are different in Italy is that they are very sparsely decorated. In the U.S., it's fairly common to see beautifully decorated waiting rooms with comfortable chairs, reading materials, and even beverages to enjoy. The private doctor I saw did have more pictures on the wall, but it still didn't really compare to an American waiting room with A/C and comfortable chairs. Still, it wasn't a big deal because it didn't affect the standard of care at all.
The hospital where I gave birth (Santa Chiara) had labor/delivery rooms that were just gorgeous in my opinion. They dimmed the lights for a calming atmosphere and had glowing blue star lights on the wall. Here are some pictures:
Also note the excellent picture on the wall of babies swimming in a pool. Very Nirvana-esque! At this facility they also had an option for a water-birth, but you could only do it if the room was available because they only had one tub. I really wanted to do the water birth but someone else was using it at the time. How cool would it be if your baby swam to meet you? ; )
Here's a picture of the hospital itself:
The Epidural (or lack thereof):
Ah, the epidural. This is something that is almost a given in America. Even if you choose not to have one, it's almost always at least an option. In some parts of Italy, you can "win" a free epidural in a lottery. I think you have to call them on certain days and if you're say, the 10th caller, you win an epidural. In my opinion, this is completely ridiculous. I believe that an epidural should ALWAYS be an option (unless medically contraindicated) because all women and all labors are different. One woman might be able to tolerate the pain of her birth easily, while another might be quite different. Other areas of Italy do offer the option of getting an epidural.
My particular hospital had a NO EPIDURAL POLICY. Oh My Word. Natural birth only and if you needed it, a c-section.
When I was younger, my mom told me about how she had 5 natural (drug-free) births. I told her "Mom, you are crazy. When I have a baby, I'm definitely getting an epidural." My mom would just tell me that she never regretted it and that we were all born perfect and very alert. Still, I didn't think I would ever choose to have a drug-free birth because I was too much of a wimp, and besides why would I want to experience all that pain?
Well, I didn't realize I wouldn't have much of a choice about it. The hospital right across the street from our home in Italy is where I would be delivering and they did NOT allow epidurals. This scared me so badly. I was worried the experience might scar me for life! I decided that I wouldn't tell anyone I knew about it because I didn't want them to freak me out even more. If someone asked, I would just say "I may or may not get an epidural."
My Birth Experience:
First, to explain a bit about the general birthing process for those who are unfamiliar. When someone says they were in labor for X amount of hours, they're usually referring to when they were in active labor. This is the point at which you are dilated about 4 centimeters and the hospital will admit you for delivery. Before this point, you're in something called early labor.
My guess is that for many women, early labor is less painful than active labor. I've heard that some women don't even notice when they're in early labor at all.
Now the following is my experience in labor. I'm not sure how typical my experience is.
When I was in active labor (in the hospital and getting ready to deliver), I experienced very little pain. Labor and delivery was like a beautiful and hazy dream. This was my experience WITHOUT ANY DRUGS. Crazy, right? How is that even possible?
Well, essentially I had a very long and drawn-out early labor that gradually built in intensity until my body had so many natural endorphins that I hardly felt any pain at all in the hospital. How cool is that?
I was in early labor for 3 days. The first day the pain was bad enough to make me moan but not unbearable. The second day was worse. The third day I was in so much pain and hadn't slept or eaten and thought that I was in real labor. It was so bad that I went to the hospital.
While I was waiting to see a doctor, I decided to use the ladies room. Now, keep in mind, I was having regular and painful contractions and was positive I was in labor at this point. As soon as I closed the door to the restroom behind me, the door handle fell off! I tried to put the door handle back on, but it was no use....I was locked in a bathroom while in labor! It seemed like something straight out of a TV show. "Oh great, I'm going to give birth in a bathroom," I thought. I yelled for Tyson. "Tyson, help! I'm locked in the bathroom." He was too far away to hear me. I tried to stay calm.
A few seconds later, I heard a man outside the door. "Aiutami. La porta è rotta!" I said in my broken Italian. That means "Help me, the door is broken!" I think he was confused and I just kept repeating the word "broken" in the hopes that he would understand. Somehow the commotion alerted Tyson and he came over and started talking to me through the door. He kept me very calm and let me know that they were going to get help. Probably a minute or two later, they got me out of there. Phew! The funny thing is, while I was locked in the bathroom I was totally calm, but the second I was free I started to cry and realized how scary it was.
Everyone at the hospital couldn't believe that had happened while I was in labor and they were very nice and hugged me and gave me some warm tea to drink. I finally got in to see a doctor and they told me that despite my frequent and strong contractions I was not in active labor. I was desperate: I was 8 days overdue at this point and hadn't slept or eaten in some days. "Can't you give me something to help me sleep?" But the doctor just told me to go home and wait and told me that it could be another week before I had the baby! I was in disbelief. Surely they wouldn't let me go another week like this? Thankfully, I went into active labor the next morning and had my baby by that evening.
That brings up another difference between Italy and America. In America, they rarely let you go overdue with a baby. They will often induce you. Additionally, if you're experiencing a long and drawn-out early labor (like I was) they will sometimes give you medicine so you can rest before your labor. In the end, I think I'm glad I didn't have the medicine (because it's better for the baby), but I still think it's nice to have a choice in the matter.
So basically my early labor experience was like this: 3 painful days with little rest. The 3rd day was so painful that I was scared to see what labor and delivery would be like! I was walking around our apartment and saying all sorts of funny stuff because I was in pain. I also was locked in a bathroom at the hospital! Ahhh!
But my active labor was like this: Awesome and beautiful and almost entirely pain-free. At the end of it I got to hold the most beautiful baby boy in the world. It was only about 10.5 hours long, which is on the shorter side for a first-time mom. It was probably faster because I had been in early labor for so long.
More on the actual labor: Our room was dimly lit and very calming. The mid-wife came in and introduced herself. For much of the labor she was not there. It was just me and Tyson, breathing through the contractions. When a contraction would hit, I would gently squeeze Tyson's hand. My preferred position for dealing with contractions was curled up on my left side on the bed. The midwife would occasionally come in and check on us. She would offer some other types of positions for me to try but I was always most comfortable laying on my left side.
Both Tyson and the midwife encouraged me to grab his hand as hard as I could to deal with the pain. But honestly, it wasn't very painful and I didn't feel a need to hurt Tyson at all. I just gently squeeze his hand. They also encouraged me to grunt and make loud noises to help with the pain but I was perfectly content to just breathe. I didn't really need to make much noise at all. My body had taken over and knew exactly what to do.
So, if I had such a pain-free experience, why do I think epidurals should always be an option? For this reason--all women and all pregnancies are different. If I have another baby, there's no way to know if my experience will even be the same. Maybe I'll be in so much pain that I'll really need some help. I saw first-hand how women have different pain thresholds in the hospital. I was in my room, barely making any noise at all. The woman in the room next to me was screaming like someone was murdering her. I never heard such a horrible sound in my life. I think that woman should have been given the option of having an epidural. There is no reason she should have had to experience all that.
Anyway, back to my labor story. The average woman pushes for 1-2 hours before delivering her first child. I had to push for 3 hours, so that time made up a larger percentage of my labor than it would for most women. I didn't really mind it because I thought going slow was better for me and I wasn't in pain. I was just tired and hot. The mid-wives wanted it to happen faster though, so they gave me all sorts of positions to try. Here are some of the fun ones they let me try:
Britney Spears Style- This is when you push on all fours on the bed. This is how Britney Spears delivered her babies. Haha.
The Dutch Birthing Stool- This is basically just a chair with a hole in it that you sit on. I HATED this position, it was the worst and most uncomfortable.
My preferred position for pushing was very similar to my preferred position for contractions. Laying on my back but tilted towards my left side. I never would have guessed that this would be the best position for me, but you never know until you're in labor what's actually comfortable for you. Just try them all!
And finally, after 3 hours of pushing, my little bambino was in my arms! He was so beautiful and so alert. He looked right into my eyes and it looked like he was saying "Mom, why did you take me out? I was really comfortable and warm in there." After making that face, he yawned hugely and then he smiled with his eyes like mama. So sweet.
In Italy they are big fans of skin-to-skin contact for bonding and warmth. In the birth videos we watched at the hospital, one guy immediately took off his shirt as soon as his baby was born so that he could put the baby on his bare skin. It was kind of hilarious the way he ripped off his shirt so enthusiastically.
I did love doing skin-to-skin with my baby. It felt wonderful. It was sweet. And then it happened....I felt something strange on my skin. I lifted the blanket and saw that my innocent baby had.....POOPED ON ME! hahahahaha. I never would have guessed that would happen. But hello, he wasn't wearing a diaper? The midwives and doctors were laughing and telling me that it was good luck if your baby pooped on you. Really? Can any Italians reading this please confirm for me if a baby pooping on you is good luck?? :)
In Summary: Having a child is simultaneously the most beautiful and ugly thing you will ever do in your life. Poopin' babies are good luck in Italy. And I'm eternally grateful to Italy for giving me my sweet baby Jack.
